Dear Pilot Light,
So nice of you to show your lovely, blue face again. Really, it's been too long. I know you must be busy, getting ready for the autumnal weather and all, but I really don't understand what made you disappear on us for so long.
You were here one day and then gone, the next. A brief return last Wednesday only lead to your complete abandonment of us for the remainder of the week.
Was it something we said? did? Were you unhappy that we replaced two of your valves that were working just fine but we were told really should be updated? Was it the indignation of being stripped cleaned after 35 years of dust and rust?
I do want you to know: William and I have learned our lesson. If it is not broken, do not do routine maintenance on it. You were not broken, just a bit worn and dirty, but all and all, working just fine. You were a victim of our desires for precaution, not to mention for warmth this winter, since the chimney crapped out on us (believe me, we have had words with it). We promise never again to maintain anything. We will only fix it when it finally breaks completely.
I hope now that you are the proud owner of a thermocouple device that we have made amends with you and that you will not blow out again. We would love to have you to stick around for the winter, heating up our radiators.
We would be ever so grateful.
Best regards,
Miriam & William, chagrined owners
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